In a world filled with comparisons and pressure, it is crucial for parents to pay attention to signs of low self-esteem in children, as this can directly impact their happiness, performance, and future. Sandra Camphout, a mental performance coach, states that self-esteem is one of the strongest indicators of performance, happiness, and success. Camphout, founder of the 'Mental Strength Institute'—a company specializing in mental training for leaders and athletes—emphasizes that 'self-esteem is one of the strongest indicators of performance, happiness, and success.' Therefore, Camhout advises parents to look for indirect signs, both in the child's speech and behavior.
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Negative Self-Talk This is one of the most prominent signs of low self-worth. A child may constantly blame themselves for failures or express this through harsh statements like, 'I'm a failure' or 'I'm so stupid.' In such cases, Camphout advises reminding the child that temporary setbacks and stumbles do not define their identity or abilities.
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Constant Comparison with Others Camphout points out that constant comparison with others, especially those who appear more successful, can be a clear indicator of weak self-confidence. While comparison in itself is a natural behavior that helps a person understand their place in the world, it becomes a problem when it turns into a permanent standard for self-judgment. To deal with this, she suggests guiding the child to focus on aspects they can control, rather than being preoccupied with what others have. Parents can also ask questions that help the child think positively, such as: 'What does this comparison tell you that you truly want?' or 'What matters to you in this situation?'
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Body Language and Low Energy Even in the absence of explicit negative statements, a child's body language can reveal a lot. You might notice them slouching, smiling less, or a noticeable drop in their energy levels. Camphout indicates that these changes can be the result of an internal critical voice that the child does not express verbally. The child may seem less energetic, tend to withdraw, or avoid participating in activities they previously enjoyed.
Building a child's self-esteem does not happen overnight; it is formed gradually through daily experiences, how they handle challenges, and the support they receive from their environment. It is also important for parents to be a role model for positive emotional handling by showing healthy ways to manage stress and frustration instead of suppressing them.
